Unlikely things to hear on a gardening programme | Mock The Week – BBC

Unlikely things to hear on a gardening programme | Mock The Week – BBC


Unlikely things to hear on a gardening programme.
And this is the soil where I spread my seed last week, in fairness I didn’t know the cameras
were on. Well they look like onions but they’re not
onions. They’re my testicles. I got the lawnmower from Halfords, I got the
rake from B&Q, and I got the hoe from single sexy babes in my area.com. These are my peonies and this is my penis. Gardening, all the effort of farming, but
none of the profit. So now that we’ve filled the hole let’s pop
off into town to the pet shop to try and find an identical dog. People ask me why do you grow vegetables? The answer is I don’t know, it’s much cheaper
in Tesco and I could have had a life. This beautiful rose is just like my wife.
Vibrant, full of life and if you try and touch it you feel a prick. Why did you leave me
Karen. Welcome to gardening with Michael Gove. As you can see these blackberries aren’t doing very well and that is because the technology is shit and not compatible with anything. It’s great to have a part of your garden that
attracts… wildlife. Sweetpea, often overlooked but shouldn’t be as it could be the first symptom of type 2 diabetes. Well to be honest I would dig it out with a spade but I’ve never seen a black head like
it. Welcome to the garden of remembrance… that’s
where I left my keys. There are hard and fast rules when it comes
to laying turf… sods law. Come on! I keep all my gardening equipment in different
places, I’ve got hoe’s in different area codes. No way! no way! I’ve got one more. One more ok one more yeah. There’s hard and fast rules when you’re laying turf… Sod’s law.

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