Dane Cook – Working at Burger King

FIRST JOB I HAD. BURGER KING. [woman laughs] [mocks laugh] [laughter] I’LL COME UP THERE, MA’AM. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB TOO. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB. MM-HMM. HE WAS THE MANAGER, AND HE GOT ME THE JOB. YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE COOL, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE’S MY BRO, BUT HE WAS […]

Rodney Dangerfield’s Top 10 Jokes About His Wife’s Cooking

– Oh yeah, my wife can’t do nothin’ right. She can’t cook, the worst cook in the world. Gave my kid alphabet soup, he spelled out help. (audience laughing) What a lousy cook, I mean, how can toast have bones? (audience laughing) She’s a lousy cook, too, she can’t cook at all. I leave dental […]

Kelsey Cook – Homemade Sex Toy – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored – Exclusive

– “Um…I wanted to know what sex felt like, “so I took your manicure tool, and I put it…” [laughter][dark electronic music][bell dinging] Oh. [chuckles] Nicely done. Yes. Mmm. Mmm! [moaning] [piglet whining]♪ ♪[fork clatters]♪ ♪[whining]♪ ♪[whining continues]♪ ♪Your mama’s so delicious.[cheers and applause]She has her own podcast, “Cook’d.” Please give it up for Kelsey […]

Everything Is Complicated | Stand-Up Comedy by Vikramjit Singh

So, before I go ahead I just wanna tell you I do My jokes in English and Hindi both I hope you’re okay with that Because some people are not! This guy met me after a show And said “YOU ARE INDIAN” I said “Erm, yeahh” “Who the hell are YOU?” “PROUD Indian” “Oh” “So […]

Tony Baker – I Hate Flying Out Of LAX | All Def Stand-Up

(laid back music) – I don’t like how stressful LAX is. They need to chill out at LAX. They be turnt up at all times. Calm down man, shit. Calm down, they’d be yelling like when I fly out of Bur- I live in Burbank. When I fly out of there, it’d be smooth sailing. […]

Jo Koy Talks Netflix Comedy Specials and Cookie Decorating | Treat Yourself | Allrecipes.com

– Hey guys, I’m Jo Koy. You might know me from my podcast, The Koy Pond, or my Netflix specials. I’m gonna make some cookies, that look just like me. (bright happy music) Boom! Why did I choose this cookie? It’s the same skin color. First and foremost, let me see with this stuff. Why, […]

Kashmir and Kargil War Ft. Atul Sharma | Standup Comedy

Mujhe pata lag gaya uncle darr rahe hain, Main abhi aur daraunga. Maine bag uthaya, seat pe rakha aur dheere dheere zip kholte huye.. Bashir Bhai! Jis maksad se delhi bheja tha na… Inshallah! Hi Guys! My name is Atul Sharma, I am from Kashmir Sahi hai yaar itne saare log! Humare yahan itne saare […]

Going to Chuck E. Cheese on Acid & A Tax for Hot People – This Week at the Comedy Cellar

(crowd laughing softly) – I saw that we decriminalized weed in New York. (crowd whistles and cheers) (clapping) I do feel like, though, we should stop calling olive weed, weed. (crowd laughing) And now we have like eight levels of weed deeper than anyone has ever had before. That needs a new name. You know, […]

Drunk History – James Cook Returns to Hawaii

AND GOES, LIKE, HEY, EVERYBODY. I’M BACK. AND THEY’RE LIKE, OH, YOU’RE–WHY ARE YOU BACK? COOK IS JUST LIKE, NOW AS YOUR GOD, I DEMAND YOU TO FIX MY BOAT. MY BOAT GOT BROKE. NOW YOU GOT TO FIX MY BOAT. FIX MY BROKE BOAT. AND SO EVERYBODY IN HAWAII IS JUST LIKE, NO, BRAH. […]

Gujju Cookery Shows | Gujarati Stand-Up Comedy by Ojas Rawal

How many people watch television post 11pm… What do you watch after 11pm? Football, okay… What about 12? Or like after12:30… 1… ? (someone shouts) ”Ftv” Ftv? That’s what you watch? (judgemental nodding) Child… do you not know of the revolution called the Internet? See! Look at all the experienced folks… Leave the television… Come […]