Seth’s Mom Is Quitting Cooking After 50 Years of Marriage

-Hi, guys. How are you? -Hello. Got a gin and tonic. -Yeah. Yeah, you have a drink there. There’s your gin and tonic. I think you guys have a couple Scotches down there. I think they’re both here. -All right. -And we’ll do a quick toast to the continuing tradition. Congratulations on getting asked back. […]

Scarlett Johansson And Stephen Exchange Holiday Cooking Tips

>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WE’RE BACK HERE WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON, WHO IS THE STAR OF “MARRIAGE STORY “AND THE UPCOMING” BLACK WIDOW .” CHRISTMAS IS COMING. ARE YOU A CELEBRANT? DO YOU DO THE MEAL? DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER?>>I’M COOKING THIS MEAL ALONE AGAIN.>>Stephen: YOU’RE COOKING A TURKEY FOR YOURSELF?>>IT WAS JUST THANKSGIVING!>>Stephen: OKAY. THANKSGIVING […]

Thanksgiving Food Is Gross

-It is almost Thanksgiving. Are you guys excited? [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, you’re definitely American. We do things different in Canada, but it’s in October and it’s much more low-key than in America. You guys go so overboard for Thanksgiving. You’re like, “Okay, so, eight people are coming over. Better cook a 40-pound […]

As The Walls Close In, Donald Trump Is Clearly Losing It

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. FOLKS, DONALD TRUMP IS CLEARLY LOSING IT, AND HE DID NOT HAVE A SURPLUS OF “IT” TO BEGIN WITH. THE IMPEACHMENT VULTURES ARE CIRCLING, AND HE’S WORRIED, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THERE’S A LOT OF MEAT ON THAT BONE AND IT’S GETTING GAMEY. […]

One of Seth’s Writers Explains a Joke: Man Steals Saxophone

-A Virginia man was arrested this weekend after he allegedly stole a $5,000 saxophone during a reception at a science museum and took it to a pawnshop. When police apprehended him, he was winding his way down Baker Street. [ Gerry Rafferty’s “Baker Street” plays ] [ Laughter ] This brings us to a segment […]

Extreme Baking Championship – SNL

>>>WE NOW RETURN TO THE EXTREME BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE FOOD NETWORK. >>ALL RIGHT, BAKERS. I’M SORRY TO SAY THIS, BUT TIME IS UP.>>MY WORD! >>TODAY’S EXTREME BAKING THEME WAS CARTOON CONFECTION AND EACH OF YOU HAD TWO HOURS TO MAKE CAKES FEATURING BELOVED CARTOON CHARACTERS. NOW IT’S TIME TO PRESENT YOUR CAKES TO THE […]

Meghan Trainor Cut “Me Too” with Lizzo in the Kitchen

-Congratulations are in order, because you were just announced as a judge on “The Voice UK.” [ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you. -So, you are an artist putting out music. And I’m always fascinated by artists that are putting out music because there’s so much — We already talked about music earlier. They’re so […]

Dane Cook Gets Candid About the Backlash Against His Act – You Up w/ Nikki Glaser

– You do have to reinvent yourself. I remember a therapist telling me that, she’s like everyone in show business you have to – She specifically said you need to reinvent yourself, you know I’ve seen your act. – Dye your hair blonde. – She’s here like you’ve never said a funny thing in your […]