Scarlett Johansson And Stephen Exchange Holiday Cooking Tips

>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WE’RE BACK HERE WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON, WHO IS THE STAR OF “MARRIAGE STORY “AND THE UPCOMING” BLACK WIDOW .” CHRISTMAS IS COMING. ARE YOU A CELEBRANT? DO YOU DO THE MEAL? DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER?>>I’M COOKING THIS MEAL ALONE AGAIN.>>Stephen: YOU’RE COOKING A TURKEY FOR YOURSELF?>>IT WAS JUST THANKSGIVING!>>Stephen: OKAY. THANKSGIVING […]

Thanksgiving Food Is Gross

-It is almost Thanksgiving. Are you guys excited? [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, you’re definitely American. We do things different in Canada, but it’s in October and it’s much more low-key than in America. You guys go so overboard for Thanksgiving. You’re like, “Okay, so, eight people are coming over. Better cook a 40-pound […]

Getting Benched as a Cheerleader (ft. Rosebud Baker) – High School Fails

– I showed up for practice one day, I don’t wanna be there, somebody finally told me, “You don’t have the school spirit “to last on this squad.” (upbeat music) I’m Rosebud Baker, and this is the story of how I got benched as a cheerleader. So it’s freshman year, everybody’s got flip phones, everybody’s […]

Getting Broken Up With When You Have Food Poisoning – Josh Johnson

– So I’m gonna start off by saying I get broken up with a lot, all right? Usually by text message. And just so you know, if you do that, you’re bogus, all right? The most recent time I got broken up with in a text message, I had terrible food poisoning. All right, so […]

FUNNY SCHOOL SUPPLY DIYS || How to Sneak Gummy Food in Class with 123 GO! GOLD!

oh I can’t see what I’m doing perfect this hair clip will do let me just pull my hair back and clip it right in there no oh major clip fail oh man seriously this just isn’t my day is it ooh sorry girl that’s a bummer if you ever have a classroom clip conundrum […]

How to Give a Hate-Filled Blow Job – Sex Fails (feat. Rosebud Baker)

I’m Rosebud Baker and this is the story of how I learned to give the perfect hate blowjob. I grew up reading Cosmo articles. I don’t know who writes these articles. But they write about giving blowjobs like they’re locked in a basement and they got suck their way out. How to blow his [bleep] […]

As The Walls Close In, Donald Trump Is Clearly Losing It

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. FOLKS, DONALD TRUMP IS CLEARLY LOSING IT, AND HE DID NOT HAVE A SURPLUS OF “IT” TO BEGIN WITH. THE IMPEACHMENT VULTURES ARE CIRCLING, AND HE’S WORRIED, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THERE’S A LOT OF MEAT ON THAT BONE AND IT’S GETTING GAMEY. […]

Sailor Brinkley-Cook Originally Said ‘No Way’ To Being On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

– Get this, first I call her to say, “Honey where are you?” ’cause I found out I was not gonna be dancing again. So I said, “Honey where are you right now?” She said, “I’m sitting on the runway in the plane, we’re about to take off to come cheer you on.” I said, […]