Getting Broken Up With When You Have Food Poisoning – Josh Johnson

– So I’m gonna start off by saying I get broken up with a lot, all right? Usually by text message. And just so you know, if you do that, you’re bogus, all right? The most recent time I got broken up with in a text message, I had terrible food poisoning. All right, so […]

How to Give a Hate-Filled Blow Job – Sex Fails (feat. Rosebud Baker)

I’m Rosebud Baker and this is the story of how I learned to give the perfect hate blowjob. I grew up reading Cosmo articles. I don’t know who writes these articles. But they write about giving blowjobs like they’re locked in a basement and they got suck their way out. How to blow his [bleep] […]

Key & Peele – Stan Lee’s Superhero Pitch

– SO THE OTHER THING I’M THINKING IS MAYBE WITH THE PLASMA BOLTS, INSTEAD OF GOING THE TRADITIONAL WAY AND HAVING THEM ACTUALLY EMANATING FROM HIS HANDS, WHAT IF THEY CAME FROM HIS AURA? THEY JUST CAME– – UH, HE’S HERE. – OH, GOD. THANK YOU. GUYS, THIS IS SO EXCITING. MARVEL LEGEND STAN LEE […]

Everything Is Stupid – America Has a Problem with Food | The Daily Show

There are some news stories that help us understand the world we live in, and there are some news stories that are just stupid. For those, we turn to Ronny Chieng. -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) Thank you! America has a problem with food. You guys want your food to be cheap and fast but […]

Patton Oswalt – Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time – Supermarket Depression

THE LAST TIME IT GOT ME WAS PRETTY CLEVER. I’LL GIVE IT CREDIT. IT WAS A TUESDAY, LIKE 11:00 IN THE MORNING. AND I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE NEAR MY HOUSE. SO, JUST GET THAT VISUAL IN YOUR HEAD. IT’S A GROCERY STORE, 11:00 A.M. ON A WEEKDAY — LIKE SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN […]

Dane Cook Gets Candid About the Backlash Against His Act – You Up w/ Nikki Glaser

– You do have to reinvent yourself. I remember a therapist telling me that, she’s like everyone in show business you have to – She specifically said you need to reinvent yourself, you know I’ve seen your act. – Dye your hair blonde. – She’s here like you’ve never said a funny thing in your […]

Dane Cook – Working at Burger King

FIRST JOB I HAD. BURGER KING. [woman laughs] [mocks laugh] [laughter] I’LL COME UP THERE, MA’AM. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB TOO. MY BROTHER GOT ME THE JOB. MM-HMM. HE WAS THE MANAGER, AND HE GOT ME THE JOB. YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE COOL, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE’S MY BRO, BUT HE WAS […]

The Kel Mitchell Guide to Chicago Cuisine – Cooler by the Lake – South Side Aftershow

– Just thick enough to make you think it’s actually bulletproof, but I think they’re just saying it. – Nah, that’s just glass. (laughing) – Yeah, it’s just regular like glass. – That’s when you know the food gone be fire though. They’re protecting something in there. And you got to know what it is. […]

Antoni Porowski – Celebrating Food as a Love Language with “Antoni in the Kitchen” | The Daily Show

Thank you for having me. So good to finally have you on the show, um, as a fan of what you do on Queer Eye, as a fan of your cooking. I’ve been lucky enough to taste your cooking, and then when I heard you were coming out with a cookbook, I was like, this […]

OITNB’s Beth Dover Talks Career and Cookies | Treat Yourself | Allrecipes.com

– Hi, I’m Beth Dover and you probably recognize me from “Orange is the New Black.” I play Linda Ferguson, or Linda from purchasing. I’m a villain, I’m a terrible person. But in real life, I’m nice. So I’m gonna decorate a cookie that looks like me. (upbeat music) It’s summertime, I did get a […]