Getting Broken Up With When You Have Food Poisoning – Josh Johnson

– So I’m gonna start off by saying I get broken up with a lot, all right? Usually by text message. And just so you know, if you do that, you’re bogus, all right? The most recent time I got broken up with in a text message, I had terrible food poisoning. All right, so […]

Patton Oswalt – Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time – Supermarket Depression

THE LAST TIME IT GOT ME WAS PRETTY CLEVER. I’LL GIVE IT CREDIT. IT WAS A TUESDAY, LIKE 11:00 IN THE MORNING. AND I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE NEAR MY HOUSE. SO, JUST GET THAT VISUAL IN YOUR HEAD. IT’S A GROCERY STORE, 11:00 A.M. ON A WEEKDAY — LIKE SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN […]

Kelsey Cook – Homemade Sex Toy – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored – Exclusive

– “Um…I wanted to know what sex felt like, “so I took your manicure tool, and I put it…” [laughter][dark electronic music][bell dinging] Oh. [chuckles] Nicely done. Yes. Mmm. Mmm! [moaning] [piglet whining]♪ ♪[fork clatters]♪ ♪[whining]♪ ♪[whining continues]♪ ♪Your mama’s so delicious.[cheers and applause]She has her own podcast, “Cook’d.” Please give it up for Kelsey […]

SNL’s Chris Redd Hits Up Washington, D.C.’s Underground Food Scene || InstaChef

– If you don’t mind, I wanna talk a little about food. – Transition game is popping. This guy’s transition game is nuts. – Welcome to “InstaChef.” We’re profiling chefs who are creating a new food tradition by using Instagram to bring their creations to the world. I’m your host, Cliff Skighwalker. Me and some […]

Going to Chuck E. Cheese on Acid & A Tax for Hot People – This Week at the Comedy Cellar

(crowd laughing softly) – I saw that we decriminalized weed in New York. (crowd whistles and cheers) (clapping) I do feel like, though, we should stop calling olive weed, weed. (crowd laughing) And now we have like eight levels of weed deeper than anyone has ever had before. That needs a new name. You know, […]

Kelsey Cook – Homemade Sex Toy – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored – Exclusive

Don’t Mention Health Insurance to Millennials – Jaboukie Young-White

I've been traveling a lot for comedy recently which has also been pretty dope but it's kind of weird at the same time cuz I've noticed that like my race just changes from city to city like when I'm in Chicago people just think that I'm half black half white when I'm in New York […]

How Women Can Tell If an Ex Has Slept with Someone Else – Rosebud Baker

Mike Lawrence – Sappy Meals: Hitting Rock Bottom at the Drive-Through – This Is Not Happening

ever one time it's like you know how much pussy I get now that I have one arm and I was like how much he goes a little but that's still pretty good well this is not happening I'm your host Roy Wood jr. when you think about it work is all about count you […]