Key & Peele – Stan Lee’s Superhero Pitch

Key & Peele – Stan Lee’s Superhero Pitch


– SO THE OTHER THING
I’M THINKING IS MAYBE WITH THE PLASMA BOLTS, INSTEAD
OF GOING THE TRADITIONAL WAY AND HAVING THEM ACTUALLY
EMANATING FROM HIS HANDS, WHAT IF THEY CAME
FROM HIS AURA? THEY JUST CAME–
– UH, HE’S HERE. – OH, GOD. THANK YOU. GUYS, THIS IS SO EXCITING. MARVEL LEGEND STAN LEE
CALLS ME ON THE PHONE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO
AND SAYS, “I’D LIKE TO STOP BY.” SO I JUST THOUGHT THAT’D BE
A GREAT TREAT SO HE’S– – EXCELSIOR! – HEY! MR. LEE!
– ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. LET’S GET GOING. – OH, YOU’RE HERE
TO PITCH US SOME CHARACTERS? – YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR
I HAVE. ALL RIGHT, LET’S SEE HERE. WE GOT TO… EASEL WORK’S
A LITTLE BIT RUSTY. DON’T TOUCH THAT. OKAY. INTRODUCING… HEYDAY. HE LIVES PERPETUALLY
IN HIS BEST YEAR: 1982. HIS NEMESIS IS
THE EVIL WRITER’S BLOCK. HE’LL LIVE FOREVER AS LONG
AS HE CONTINUES TO COME UP WITH GREAT, INTERESTING,
AND RELEVANT IDEAS. WELL, THAT GOT NOTHING. – MR. LEE,
I JUST–I JUST FEEL, YOU KNOW, WE’RE REALLY BUSY THIS MORNING,
YOU– – UH-UH-UH-UH, THIS AIN’T
MY FIRST RODEO, SONNY BOY. I GOT A MILLION OF ‘EM. ALL RIGHT. DR. BALANCE. HE’S AN AGING ROBOTICS SCIENTIST WHO NEVER SLIPS AND FALLS
IN THE SHOWER. IT’S WHERE AM I, MAN? NO MATTER HOW LATE AT NIGHT
HE GETS UP TO GO NUMBER ONE, HE ALWAYS KNOWS EXACTLY
WHERE HE IS. THERMOSTATRO. HE HAS THE POWER
TO CONTROL ANY THERMOSTAT, WHICH MEANS
HE NEVER HAS TO BE TORMENTED BY ANY SUDDENLY COLD SPOTS.
TECHNO. HE UNDERSTANDS HOW TO CONTROL
ANY TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE. THINGS LIKE THE COMPUTER
OR THE LITTLE HAND COMPUTER. ROAD RAGE. HE GETS BEHIND INNOCENT DRIVERS
ON THE THOROUGHFARE ON THEIR WAY HOME
FROM THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE AND HE LEANS
ON HIS RADIOACTIVE HORN AND THEY SAY, “HEY! COME ON,
GET OFF OF MY BUMPER, HOT ROD! WE’RE GOIN’ AS FAST AS WE CAN!” WHERE’D YOU GUYS COME FROM? OH, YEAH.
HERE’S THE GRAY CHASER. HER SPECIAL POWERS ARE
SHE’S 40, HAS NO KIDS, AND SHE’S GOT A ROCKIN’ HOT BOD. SHE’S ONLY INTO OLDER DUDES
WITH PONYTAILS AND LIVER SPOTS. HOMESTEAD. HE’S GOT THE MUTANT ABILITY
TO FORCE ANY OF HIS BUSY ADULT CHILDREN
TO COME VISIT FOR A CHANGE. I MEAN, WOULD IT KILL YOU
TO PICK UP A PHONE? HOW ‘BOUT AN EVIL VILLAIN, HUH? THE OVERWEIGHT JAMAICAN MAID. ALSO KNOWN AS JAMILA! SHE STEALS THINGS. – MR. LEE,
I’M–I’M–I’M SO SORRY. JUST, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
I-I DON’T THINK THAT, UH… I DON’T THINK THAT WE COULD USE
ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. – OH. SO SAY THE ROOM? – YES.
– YEAH. – OH. NO, I-I-I UNDERSTAND. DON’T MIND ME. SOMETIMES YOU’RE JUST
SHOOTING BLANKS. I KNOW WHEN I’M NOT WANTED. JUST…TOSS THE REST OF ‘EM IN THE, UH, TRASH COMPACTOR
OR WHATEVER YA GOT THESE DAYS. – IT WAS A REAL HONOR, SIR,
TO HAVE YOU. – AH. [laughs] EUREKA. I’VE JUST BEEN INSPIRED. NOW, THIS IS A SUPERHERO TEAM, A RAGTAG GROUP OF
MULTIETHNICS KNOWN AS… THE FIRED BUNCH. THEY POSSESS
THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE TO BITE THE VERY HAND
THAT FEEDS THEM AND ARE CURSED
TO WALK THE STREETS FOR AN ETERNITY
UNEMPLOYED. WHAT DO YOU THINK? – WE LOVE IT! – EXCELSIOR!
– EXCELSIOR!

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