– So I’m gonna
start off by saying I get broken up with
a lot, all right? Usually by text message. And just so you know,
if you do that, you’re bogus, all right? The most recent time
I got broken up with in a text message,
I had terrible food poisoning. All right, so I was at home
on the toilet dealing with
my food poisoning, okay? So I’m sitting there on
the toilet and my ankle buzzed. My ankle buzzed, sir,
’cause that’s where my phone is when it’s in my pocket and
my pants are down, all right? So my ankle was shaking,
so I had to answer my ankle. I don’t want you to be confused
going forward, okay? And I so I went in my ankle
and I answered it, flipping open my phone, ’cause that liberal arts
degree turned out real well. So I flipped open my phone,
read the text message, and it said,
“I don’t love you. “I don’t think
I ever loved you. “I don’t think I could
ever love you. It’s over.” – Damn.
[laughter] – Now I feel like
I’ve lost everything. ‘Cause not only do I have
terrible diarrhea, but a complete stranger
just broke up with me. This is a wrong number.
I don’t know who this is. But then I text her back like, “Baby, we can make this work.
All right, let’s–” I want to ask
you guys a question. You ever go see a horror movie that’s, like, about
a creepy kid? Like, the kid is haunted?
Like, little kid is possessed. Little kid, like, “Uh–”
Like that kid, like– Is it just me or
is that kid never black? Never, but here’s the thing.
I think I know why. ‘Cause a mom would
beat that out immediately. Like, it’d be like– if that were me in my house
being like, “Redrum, redrum, redrum,”
my mom would be like, “Where was that bass
during choir practice? “You want to get up in front
of people and act shaming, we need a scene
like that there.” Like, I don’t even think
a black mom would be scared. Like, she’d come home,
everything’s floating all “Poltergeist” style,
and she’s like, “Okay, okay, so you can make
everything float, “but you can’t clean that room? “You can’t clean that room?
No. “I’m gonna be in there
in five minutes to see who haunted, okay?” Guys, I’m Josh Johnson.
Thanks so much. You guys have a great night.
Josh is gonna be huge in like a year bro. He got Kevin Hart geeking back there!
Natural talent original on point very very funny.
Comedians: "You can't make a poop joke heartfelt."
Josh: "Hold my drink"
Guy shouldn't have shaved his head
His bald head is back, he turned into Angela Davis for a week and then went back to his normal self.
Bro Really Funny Asf😂😂
What was kevin Hart doing there??
I can't keep up with all the hair changes one second it's a low cut then an afro then a low cut again 😂
Lol got Kevin Hart in the crowd.
wtf is going on with the audio on this did they overdub audience reactions… ❌
josh is hilarious
God I miss his fro lmao
"Where was that Bass during Choir Practice!?!" I GOT your Redrum.
THAT'S the kind of crowd energy Josh deserves!
Garbage comedy
But they got a brighter spotlight back on Kevin Hart
I can't wait for his hour!
My guy went from bald to Afro and back to bald all in 1 week
He was kicked when he was (pants) down.
This was great! But am I the only one noticing how weird the audience is? It's like they took a bunch if stock footage of people laughing, and then edited in the exact same laugh track.
Tooooo many crowd shots!
It was great except for the parts they showed kevin hart's face.
Kevin’s a fan!
Josh looking low key buff
his performance is great as always, but please stop with the erratic cutting to the crowd's reaction. Just leave the camera on his face until he finishes a story or at least a segment
This man is my favorite. I hope I can see him live one day.
nothing is funny here, these people are all on weed, thats today's comedy for you.
My moms crazy as hell and she’s white
Im glad he shaved his hair. He looked like a lesbian from the 70s.
"flipped open my phone, cuz that liberal arts degree turned out real well"
Americans. I hope you realise a new star in your land
Josh has been around for a while and is still smashing it, where’s his Netflix special? 🤔
Where's the rest???!!!
I miss that afro
bruh KEVIN was dying from first sentence. this mans really finna blow up in front of all of us
Now you aint got the fro??? You're mythautic broski!!
Why it feel like somebody edited the crowd into this video😂
they raised the audience volume so you could hear Kevin Hart laughing in the back
😂😂
This dude said I flipped open my phone because that liberal arts degree worked out really well. Hahahahhahahahahaha
I wish he was my friend!!!
Every time you take your eye off him for a second he either got no hair or a big as Afro
That audience is super exaggerated and I love it!
superfunny did laugh
Yay Afro gone
2:27 thats Kevin Hart laughin in the back bro
Thank you Comedy Central
So we not Gon talk about how Kevin Hart is in the audience just chillin and nothing is said.
omfggg super annoying how they keep panning to the audience. I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM!!!!!!!
When you see kevin hart laughing at your joke
nice
Not funny .
obvious laugh track and edits…
Love Josh. He’s so great!
Haven’t heard buddy curse once. Bill Cosby would love him.
Josh is absolutely the best up and coming comedian I know of. Hope he gets all the success he deserves
https://youtu.be/xC03hmS1Brk
He's tooooo funny 😂
Why is this dude getting such a hard push. He's just not that funny. At all. I mean, look how fake this laugh track is. What the hell is going on with this dude? I'm sorry but no, he's just nowhere near as funny as Chapel or Rock or Hart, etc etc. Not even close!
This guy is high fo sho
😭😭😭😭 I really love this guy I really relate to the Craigslist bit he does
Remember when comedy was funny those were the days
The laugh timing is so off.. why do people edit like hot garbagr
“Okay so you can make everything float but you can’t clean that room??” 😂
Good thing he cut the hair off lmao
This looks like one dude telling jokes to a bad laugh track.
That is Kevin Hart at the back laughing his ass off..
Awww…. the first 2 seconds 🤣 Poor guy
I saw the title and thought "By god, what happened to this poor little man now?!"
He doesn't get a break
That has to be his mom … his two aunts and his sisters in the front row
Woah dude computer CGI is creating such realistic characters nowadays
Guess I’m the only one not belly laughing over nothing
👏😀😀😀😀🔥🔥🔥🔥🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣
i love josh johnson
Why does the laughter seem like the editor placed it there. Dudes' a decent comic he doesn't need the help..lol
2:27 peep Kev
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
'cause the chicken crossing the road wasn't a joke yet!
It seems like the audience is edited in.
2:28 Is that my honey Kevin Hart????? He looks so good ❤
sooo much editing , almost makes it seem he really isn't funny at all …
I swear, he's part of my holy trinity. Him, Daniel Sloss, and Randy Feltface are my comedy idols
Straight face gang wya
So did I imagine the afro or…?
Not his best
Mediocre
So….you gon act like your phone wasnt in your hands before you sat down?????lol nah
😕Homeboy grew an afro over night, now it's gone less than 24hrs 🤦🏿♂️I'm puzzled puzzled
Josh: So I..
Crowd: aHaHAHAHAHA
Where's joker?
Will Smith
Ayee Kevin Hart there in the back @ 2:27
Is that kevin hart watching him?
His face after reading the breakup text was pure gold.
You know it will be a good video when it begins with Kevin Hart laughing his ass off.
Disliked because the audio volume is way too loud
Seeing Kevin in the crowd made me happy 👑
I'm mad in love with dudes comedy 😭❤
He's the true future of comedy. Dude is funnier than 99% of more famous people
“This the wrong number but I texted her back like “babe, we can make this work” LMAOOOOOO
Black mom will be like… “since we making things float go float them dishes in some soap and water!” 😂😂
🙂 when I see it's a Josh Johnson video
😀 when I see it's just dropped
:-/ when it's only 2:41 long….