Oisín What? Help me in the kitchen. I am up to my eyes. Ah do I have to? Yes. You do have to. Use exact measurements Oisín. Follow the recipe to the letter. Well how much do I add? A handful will do. What? A heaped tea-spoon. A dollop. A scoop. A pinch. A lug. A dash. They’re not measurements. What are you cooking? Fish. I hate fish. You’ll eat it. Putting pizza in the oven is not cooking Pot noodle is not cooking Dairylee Dunkers is not cooking Cornflakes from the packet is not cooking Now Clean as you go. Mum I’m hungry. If you are hungry have something small. There’s no nourishment in that. That won’t sustain you. If you are hungry have an apple. Don’t eat straight from the shopping bag. Jesus Christ let it sit in the cupboard for a minute. Don’t eat the ham straight from the packet. Don’t eat straight from the fridge Put it on a plate. those penguins are for Christmas. It’s July. Put them back in the freezer. Clean as you go. Chicken can be lethal. You need to cook it until it’s black. All knives are sharp. Careful with this side of the knife Oisín. Clean as you go. A watched pot never boils. It’s boiled. Is it? Don’t scratch my non-stick pan. Would you like to do the stirring Oisín? I’m not 5, Mum. Would you like to lick the spoon? Yeah. I’m going to leave you to do that yourself OK? Yeah. Good boy. No, you’re doing it too slow Oisín. No, no… Mum just do it yourself. Your father is cooking dinner tomorrow night. Where are you going with the microwave. The boot of the car. It’s the only way I can get him to cook a decent meal. Doomdah. Thank you very much for watching we are Foil Arms and Hog. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel, thank you. Right, I heard you are doing a show now in Edinburgh. Ye we are. That’s the brand new show now isn’t it. Ye ‘Swines’. Jesus right very good. And then we’re coming back And we are doing it in Dublin For the Irish premiere. And then we are going to America and we are doing it all around America. Doomdah…. Jesus Christ Barry Jesus you are awful light on your feet. Well what are you cooking? Fish. Don’t like fish. Well that’s what I have on pet. I found penguins in the freezer. Delicious. Thanks. They are for Christmas. Happy Christmas. Take-aways are very unhealthy. You wouldn’t know what they would be adding to those meals Are your children just sitting around waiting for their inheritance? Hit back with this classic track Ha ha ha ha Stayin’ alive, Stayin’ alive. Chill out lanyard guy It’s not an Olympic gold medal. I seen, you seen, he seen… Nothing. That is the best joke in the show.