Eight Days, twelve hours and thirteen minutes. That’s how long it’s been since last saw Sherlock. So I’m going to do something I swore to her I’d never do. I’m going to tell you everything I know, and if she turns up in jail, I won’t even be mad. Eight days ago, Sherlock solved a crime, the police arrested some suspects and we celebrated her success. Eight days ago, Sherlock went into her room, locked the door and disappeared. So, if she’s out there or if any of you have seen her please, please, please, let me know. And Sherlock, if you’re watching this, please come home. Jane: Jeeze! Sherlock: That would never have worked. Sherlock, I…have you been in here the whole time? I was scared shitless I thought that I was going to find a body on the other side of the door. I’m fine. But if you’re so keen for a body, I can provide you with one. What? Jane: You couldn’t have called or texted, or I don’t know, faxed, even? I wasn’t gone that long. And anyway, I was busy. Not in geochronological terms, but in real life yes, eight days is a very long time. Do you have any idea how easy it is to break into our house? Oh that’s fine! I didn’t want to sleep soundly ever again. you seem to have done well enough on little sleep this week. Yeah, this week was a hoot. Well you found me, and as soon as this is done, I promise to let you get your preferred eight hours rest. Uniterrupted? Yeah… I just need your medical opinion on something. Please tell me that’s not what I think it is. Sherlock: What do you think it is? Sherlock: come closer, take a look. Jane: No, I won’t! Jane: and could you please not contaminate a crime scene! I think that might reflect poorly on you when the police arrive. I haven’t called the police. Hang on Sherlock, I’m having a really hard time with this. Can you just stop being an idiot for two seconds and just come and take a look at this please I’d like to know how she died. Jane: I’m not a forensic pathologist. Sherlock: Get over here, Scully. This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever kept me up for I hate you, and I’m calling the cops. Sherlock: What do you see? Jane: A dead body. Amazing! What else? OK. It looks like she’s got massive blunt force trauma to the back of her head. It’s accurate, she wasn’t running. um… no evidence of self defence suggest that she was surprised, and, from the amount of blood here, I would say she died right here. What was the weapon? Jane: Sherlock? Take a guess. Jane: Ok. Well, Jane: the fracture is pretty acute and deep. Jane: Straight accross in a relatively uniform pattern something long, heavy, a crow bar? Just the one blow, you sure? Fairly sure, why? Sherlock: Because there are three distinct sets of footprints. Here, here, and here. She was not down here alone. You can see that? You can’t? So, a mugging gone wrong. No. Sherlock, what are you doing? Sherlock: and here wallet is still… Oh, fuck! I don’t think I could be more upset with you right now. I actually don’t think that I could be more upset with you right now. Don’t lie, you love this. Wallet with credit cards, receipts, and, ID. Sherlock, I think I know this girl. How? She worked in the lab. The professor’s got a lot of projects on the go. You should call Hopkins. I’ll wait here. (knocking) You should have brought your key. Jane: I didn’t know I would be alone at a crime scene at 3am explaining things to cops. Sherlock: Well, it looked like rain, I didn’t want to get caught out. Jane: Thanks! Question. Answer. Unlikely. But, question. How many type 2B 45 carat have gone missing in the past 6 months? The answer is one. I called the Smithsonian and the hope diamond is doing fine. Which means that this missing diamond is my missing diamond. Take a look. That’s the same silver setting that housed the morcar diamond. Only now it’s empty. I found it next to the girl in the alley. You weren’t far off when you suggested a mugging gone wrong, only I don’t think it was a mugging, I think it was business. The girl in the alley was a theif, and my guess is, she got a little more, or rather, a little less than she was bargaining for. Wait a second. Your diamond? I thought you turned that in. I never said that. Well, you sure as hell implied it. I can’t be held responsible for any incorrect inferences you might have made on that count. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because the right people were arrested. But for the right crime? Sherlock, you can’t just manipulate the law to serve your own purposes. That’s just as bad as what you used to do. No it isn’t. Anyway, I’m thinking our good friend Farley, the foul may have been a bit more into that sort of thing than we thought. Now it comes to it, I’m wondering what exactly a caterer would want with a world famous diamond with a massive man hunt attached to it. He can’t have expected to hold onto it for long he knew he wanted to fence it we thought he had a buyer maybe he had an employer. What’s your point? My point is, it’s a big job to miss out on. Obviously this girl was hired to clean up a mess By who? Whom. And I don’t know Jane, you knew this girl who do you think? I don’t know Sherlock, I barely knew her I have no idea what her after school activities entailed. Well, that’s convenient. A coincidence. You said on your vlog there is no such thing. I take it back. The internet is forever. Ok. So. theoretically, say I spoke to this girl once or twice, I didn’t even know you had the diamond! How could I have given that away? We’ve been watched. By who? Well, I don’t know Jane, but I don’t think we can safely say it’s a coincidence that a girl you knew happened to end up dead after stealing a diamond only I knew the whereabouts of. Wait, you don’t think that I gave it away! Oh, come on, you’re more transparent than that. But you do say a lot without meaning to. Not to her. No. But you’re awfully close to your professor. What’s his name again? Sherlock, like I said I have no idea, I didn’t even know that you had the diamond! How could I have possibly given that away to anybody Because you knew me and you’ve given me away before. What’s his name. Sherlock, he’s a scientist. What use would a scientist have with a diamond any more than a caterer. What an interesting question! Maybe we should ask him. What’s his name. Moriarty. Well, long time no vlog guys. Oops. Sorry. A lot has happened in the past few months. New camera. Yay. I saved it from it’s previous life of taking unsavory photographs for Sherlock. Yay! Second of all, You’ll never guess what we’ve been up to. I’m going to tell you a little story. Once upon a time there was a girl named Sherlock desperate to become the greatest Sith Lord the world had ever seen. But, one day, that all changed when she met a squib named Jane and Sherlock turned away from the dark side. Then, Sherlock began to use her power to do good. people had heard rumours of Sherlocks skill with the force. One day a man named Weasley came to Sherlock because his fine head of hair had inexplicably landed him a gig where he was paid a stupid sum of money to do practically no work once a week. But, whatever, right? One day he showed up to find the office empty and sealed shut. He called Sherlock, asked for her advice, she showed up, inquired a little into the mans personal affairs, his business, after interviewing the stores only assistant manger and employee, she called the police, the assistant manger was arrested, And Weasleys dreams of fame and fortune were dashed. Turns out, if something seems too good to be true it probably is. Jane: I spent half the night waiting for them to crush doctor drone. She did go on a tad, didn’t she. A tad! Jane, why do you think we get into teaching? Is it for the opportunity of scientific advancement? Perhaps job security? No. Nope. It’s simply for the love of a captive audience. There we go. Well, thank you professor for the lovely evening, I had a wonderful time VOICE: Excuse me! And it was very kind of you VOICE: Excuse me! VOICE: Sorry, I’m so sorry I saw you leaving and I didn’t get a chance to speak with you. Do you have a second? PROF: Of course, uh, Miss, uh? Morstan, Mary Morstan. I just have a couple questions. Are you a journalist Miss. Morstan? I’m a student at the Vic. I write for “The Strand” on the side. Jane: Tracking down a professor after dark seems like a little bit more than on the side. Escorting one to his car seems a little bit more than lab assistant. How can I help you, Mary? I’m just doing a bit of an ethics piece on the concurrent development of medical engineering and the future of biowarfare. Mary: And I was just wondering if PROF: Mary, I’m far more interested in curing diseases than causing them. PROF: Which I’m sure you’re aware of that. Yes, but I was looking through your history and I noticed in the 70’s you worked for a company called ‘Biosource’ and it’s known for its controversial policies. Mary: Can you elaborate on that a bit? PROF: Mary, if you’ve examined my history you would know I quit the company shortly after the scandal broke. Not a coincidence. Yes, but, Miss. Morstan, it’s late, PROF: I’m tired and unless this is a dire emergency. PROF: Thank you Jane. You’re welcome PROF: I shall be back in my office tomorrow, should you wish to talk. But until that time, I’m going home. Thank you, sir. Jane, thank you for a lovely evening See you on Monday. Jane: See you Monday. Ladies. He’s a great man. Yeah, I didn’t say he wasn’t. You’re Sherlocks roommate, right? Add me on Facebook. How was the party? Jane: How do you know a girl named Mary Morstan? Oh. Oh?! OK. Sherlock, now I’m worried. What have you been up to? I don’t think you want me to tell you. Jane: No, I think I do. Jane: Especially because it’s starting to look like you’ve launched an undercover investigation of my professor. Who I specifically told you to stay away from. Whom. And technically no one was undercover. Except for maybe him. Sherlock, you lied to me, and it’s not the first time. Sherlock: I had to lie. You were being completely unreasonable about the whole thing. You were threatening to accuse my professor of being a criminal. Threatening to tarnish your idol, you mean. Jane:With lies. What would be the point of that? Jane: You’re jealous! Of what? You’re jealous because I would rather spend my time with him than babysitting a socially inept child. This is all the information I’ve been able to amass on Moriarty in the past two months. I met Mary Morstan when I found out she was doing an article on him herself, I went through her notes, and even though I think she’s a little off track they were still helpful. Now, none of this is particularly damning. None of it is even illegal, so far as I can tell. But it stinks, Jane. Something’s not right. Sherlock: I lied to you for your own sake. A lie is a lie, Sherlock. I hope not. I always thought the world was pretty black and white. There were truths and there were lies. And it was your job to distinguish between the two. A little white lie, is fine, so long as no one is disillusioned later on, and a huge lie can go unquestioned for years. but what if you have to lie to protect someon from a horrible truth? So now I’m worried that two good things can be opposite. Truth and compassion. I’m a scientist, truth is the only aim. But I’m also a medical student, and compassion sometimes necessitates the subversion of truth. how do I reconcile these two apparent virtues when one demands the betrayal of another? Sherlock once told me that there was nothing in her either black or white, but only grey. And, Sherlock, who I would never immediately describe as being a compassionate person lied to me today. Jane: Oh! Professor! Jane: You scared me. You weren’t expecting me, were you? Jane: No, I um, I uh, just came by your office Jane: because I think I left my wallet in there on friday Jane: so I thought I should just check that out. Go on, take a look Um I don’t think that it’s here so I’m just going to PROF: Is there a problem? No, I just, I can’t find my mobile. PROF: Perhaps it’s with your wallet. Jane: Oh yeah, probably. Jane: I should go look for it. Jane: Them. Jane: Together. Jane: In the same place. Jane:Ok. Jane: Thank you professor Jane: Goodbye. (Door Shuts) (Door Opens) Jane: Sherlock! Jane: Are you home? Jane: Did you take my mobile again? (sound of footsteps coming up the stairs) (crickets and other night sounds) Johnny: Where you’re at now, Johnny: I don’t think it’s be a smart move Johnny: to walk away. Sherlock: I don’t think, you’re paid to think. Sherlock: As far as I understand it, that’s what I’d be paid to do. Johnny: Enough that it’s be worth it to think again. Sherlock: Why? Sherlock: Would I get to join your fellow ranks? Rub elbows with common criminals like yourself? Sherlock: Shockingly enough that doesn’t appeal to me though your persistence is endearing. Can I go now? Ah! I ain’t common. Your grammar would suggest otherwise. You’re what, you’re twenty one, twenty two years old, Johnny? And you’re already prepared to commit serious felonies to get your boss to see you? You’re the youngest of three boys, aren’t you? Sherlock: Always grew up playing catch up, Sherlock: always wanting to be noticed. Sherlock: Well let me tell you something Moriarty has noticed you. And he knows you’re right where you belong. In the gutter. Ah! You think you’re fucking special Sherlock Holmes? Johnny: You’re just a bitch. Johnny: And let me tell you something Johnny: Every bitch is common. Johnny: Oh! Sherlock: Ugh! Johnny: Oh! Johnny: Fuck! Bitch! You think you’re home free, but I know where you live! AHHHH! Johnny: Ugh! Johnny: uhhh! Johnny: Ohh.. Johnny: oohhh (Johnny continues to grunt) Should I, uh? Sherlock: Uh, just Sherlock: kick him. (kicking sound) Sherlock: That worked. You know, you should probably double check before counting on someone to show up and save your ass. Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind for next time. No you won’t. But um, are you OK? Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine, I just I thought you weren’t going to show up for other reasons. Yeah, I know. I’m sorry But for what it’s worth, I’m starting to believe you on the whole, ‘Moriarty’, thing. What happened? Well, aside from the whole conversation that I just over heard I was in his office earlier today. You broke into his office? Not exactly. Ugh! You should have let me teach you how to pick locks! Yeah, I’m beginning to rethink my stance on that one as well. We’ll work on it. ok. What happened? Well, you know how before you showed me that file folder that had, um a crest in it, from the place he used to work? yeah. Well, I found another one in his office. Well, if your convinced, I’m convinced. Look, I’m not saying it’s hard proof. I’m just… I’m just saying I’m sorry, and I’m willing to go with you on this one, ok? Ok. I guess we’ve got a long night ahead of us if we’re going to tie this guy to Moriarty. (Loud knocking) Someone at the door. Yup. I got it. (Loud knocking) Jane: Stan? Hi, Jane. Hopkins: Morning. um Miss. Watson, do you recognize this man? I do. He tried to assault me in an alley last night and I smacked him in the face for it. Hopkins: He assaulted you? He tried to. Why didn’t you report this incident to the police? Because, I had better things to do? What are you getting at? I’m going to have to ask you both to step outside. John Douglas was found murdered this morning. (Sherlock gasps) Sherlock: I kicked him, I didn’t kill him I’m sorry Jane, but, Hopkins: your phone was found on the body Hopkins: and with Sherlocks knowledge of the victim it places the two of you at the crime scene. Sherlock: Except it doesn’t Sherlock: I took Jane’s phone last night, without her knowledge. I’m sure you’ve heard that’s a particularly bad habit of mine. Jane: That’s a lie. That’s libelous. Hopkins: I didn’t hear that. Keep your mouth shut, Jane. Hopkins: Miss. Holmes, Oh, Johnny Douglas’ wallet is upstairs on my table Sherlock: completely in tact. Sherlock: I hope that’s incriminating enough, for now. Sherlock It’s been a long night, Jane, you’re not thinking clearly Maybe you should go see your professor and get his insight on the matter. Sherlock: Well, common constable, I’m not going to arrest myself! Look, Jane I don’t, I don’t, what’s she got you up to? Look, I don’t know what she’s got you involved with but it’s not worth it. You’re not that kind of person. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jane, she all but confessed. Please, don’t go down with her. I need that wallet. No. You need to go back to the police station, get a warrent, I’m trying to do my job get a warrant, and come back. Jane, (Door slams) How are you this morning? Well rested, I hope. PROF: Jane? Sherlock was arrested. Oh dear/ How unfortunate. PROF:That roommate of your certainly does seem to be a magnet for trouble. Well, it’s hard to avoid when it corners you in an alleyway. Perhaps she should stick to the main roads. Not Sherlock. She was never very good at resisting temptation. But then, you counted on that, didn’t you? Whatever do you mean by that? Contrary to popular belief, I’m not an idiot, Moriarty. I know you’ve been using me to get closer to Sherlock. Really? And just how would I have been going about that? I don’t even know the girl. No. But you know me. And you know that I have a habit of giving myself away and spilling my guts to everybody. She’s very good but, uh, I don’t know. It pains me somewhat to say it, so are you. You surprise me, Jane Watson. Why? Because I noticed she went from stealing cars to orchestrating international bank robberies within the course of a few months? Wasn’t very subtle. Well, perhaps my overtures of friendship were a tad overzealous. But you can hardly blame me. She’s talented. And incredibly naive. Ignorance is bliss. Maybe. But you know, not anymore. Because it was cute, when you were watching from a distance and manipulating me from far away, but guess what, professor? We’re turning you in. PROF: Are you? Yeah Yeah we are. Because you know what, professor? When you got Johnny Douglas involved, you fucked up. Because Johnny let Sherlock go and now Sherlock’s going to bring hell on your head. From prison? Oh, I don’t doubt the girl is talented. but who would believe her? I would And what good are you? I have the truth PROF: You really think that matters? My dear, I am a professor, in one of the worlds greatest universities. I have four PHD’s, two of them honorary, and my work has saved countless lives. PROF: I highly doubt that anyone is going to take the word of a college drop out PROF: and a convict, over mine. Oh, well when you put it like that. Sherlock’s very good. She could be great. There’s always room for someone like her in our organization. But I would need your help. What do you mean? She listens to you. (Jane laughs) (Jane laughs) Do you seriously think that I would help you bring Sherlock over to the dark side? I don’t care how many PHD’s you have. PROF: My dear, I am a doctor of medicine, PROF: first and foremost. For someone who wants that title for themselves you certainly have an odd definition of the word, ‘dark’. Jane: You’ve killed people. Some. This isn’t happening. As you wish. PROF: But, Miss. Watson, you’re jeopardizing a lot more than just your career right now. Jane: Thank you, professor, Jane: I think I’ve heard all I need to hear. Goodbye. Goodbye, oh and Jane! Try to stick to the main roads on your way home. Miss. Watson. Hi. Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat. ADMINISTRATOR: Now, ADMIN: I understand that you’ve had a bit of a tough year. Jane: Hey. Sherlock: Congratulations. Jane: How did you know? Sherlock: Your enthusiasm gave you away. Sherlock: Says good news. Good news from UofT, you’ve been accepted. Jane: You know that really is an amazing ability that you possess. Yeah! Ready to go? Yeah, I’m just going to pop into this office. Oh, um, is Professor Moriarty in there? I’m afraid Sebastian is ill. You must be Jane. I’m Jean. His wife. Oh. Sebastian told me a great deal about you. How talented you were. And your roommate even more so. In fact, he wanted me to give you this, as a gift. Keep in touch. Sherlock… Behind every great man is a great woman. The game is afoot, Jane, and I think we might have made a slight misstep.